THE OBSTACLE COURSE
I think everyone can relate to having a broken heart. We’ve all been there. I think most women can understand being horny, and as such can understand being a horny woman, and can understand that horny happens on it’s own, sometimes fairly often, sometimes it doesn’t show up but once a decade.
Here is where we DON’T derail by saying too often can be bad, and once a decade is sad. Here is where we Don’t Do That.
I would like any discussion of prostitution to be about women who have the broken heart + the horny and how prostitution is a wonderful, empowering thing for those women.
Here is where we don’t debate whether it is empowering for every woman, what about the women who are forced. Here is where we Don’t Do That.
Yes I would very very much like that. To have that discussion, just once. Just once without someone stopping me and demanding that I explain myself, and justify my horrid lack of morals and selfishness. Just Once. I lie, I want to have that discussion more than once, I want to have it many times, I want everyone to have it, I want them to teach it in school.
Yes. I do. I want that stuff taught, I want it officially taught that it is valid. To girls and to boys. Would you call that Radical? Call it extreme if you want to call it anything. Call me an ex-feminist if you will, but know that the Ex stands for Extreme.
Yes, I’d like prostitution to be taught as an option, the same way we teach (or the way we’d like to teach) that sex outside of marriage is no big deal as long as it’s consensual and done in a way to minimize passing germs and diseases for the sake of personal and public health. I’d like for any sex-ed class that teaches “sex can be wonderful and rewarding” to just stop right there, and not continue on with the moralistic paternalistic oppressiveness that follows when they say: “more so / especially / only if you are in a commited loving relationship”.
Yes, I want that. Very very much I want that. I think many, many, many girls and women who have died at either their own hands, or the hands of an assailant would be alive today if we did that. And the same goes for men who are victimized by people who conflate sex and love.
No. I will not put “men” in place of a woman’s assailant, because women kill whores too, even whores who aren’t officially whores, but just man-stealers who don’t get paid. Women kill whores too. Women want to kill whores too. I’ve wanted to punch one or two of them in the face myself, man stealing bitch skanks that they were. But that’s just a fantasy, a terrible and bitter one, fueled by irrational jealousy. Unless given an ironic and unlikely opportunity I won’t even know if I actually would throw those punches, especially after so many years. Maybe we’d bond over bitterness and coffees instead.
WHAT PLANET ARE YOU ON?
But I can’t talk about that. I can’t talk about jealousy, and infidelity, and expecting something of value in exchange for something of value on a case by case basis when my body is involved as a primary “thing” of value. To talk about ANY of that, I would have to be on another planet.
I’d have to be somewhere where the only things considered criminal were things other than hurt feelings or excessive worry or disappointment or fear. It would be a planet where drugs were legal and if you needed to smoke crack to get through your day you’d be able to have it, as easily as people get coffee on this planet.
If you wanted to shoot heroin, and were willing to live with 15 other people so you could all afford your rent and your smack, you’d be able to do that. It would be a normal occurence, on that planet, and nobody would give it a second thought. “My son Henry is moving into the heroin collective over by 5th avenue.” a mother would say, “Oh, he must be quite creative then! I remember he was creative as a child.” her friend would reply, on that planet. “Oh yes, he paints, and writes sometimes too, it’s interesting stuff!”.
The discussion would be shameless. That can’t happen on this planet. The very word “shameless”, on this planet, actually implies inherent shame that is being denied, and not any real absence of shame. Implied so clearly that it becomes an inference. That is some seriously twisted shit right there.
On this planet, the drugs are bad, they hurt people, people die when they use the drugs, they steal, they cheat, they hurt other people – that’s what people do, when they use drugs. The people who do the drugs are selfish and stupid and weak. All of it is lies, I have to say it again, again, again. It’s a causal relationship twisted to serve evil purposes, on this planet.
I could go on, and on. And on. I don’t have the energy to right now. I don’t want to waste the time repeating things a million other people have already said.
Where is that planet, can I go there? Are the people there funny? I’ll go. Wait – do they have weed? If so, I’ll pack right now. (note to beings from other planets who might be reading, this is hyperbole please do not abduct me. kthx.)
It’s so much work, and so many people fight against making this planet into something more tolerable. Into something more understanding and less oppressive to people who don’t believe that love = sex and sex=love and to people who crave creativity, energy, and focus. I want that understanding. It shouldn’t be outrageous for everyone to want that.This planet, so many bad things, bad behaviors, that are criminal.
THE RIGHT TO EXPECT
Expecting the guy you are sleeping with to kick in for the electric bill is criminal and harshly punished unless you marry him, or otherwise commit to an emotional involvement. Having that expectation is wrong, criminal, everywhere on this planet, I don’t care if there is no electricity, expecting the guy to chip in for firewood, or water, or food and to bring it to you, and your children if you have them. It’s criminal and wrong to have the EXPECTATION.
The legal right to have that expectation? Even where prostitution is “legal” it is wrong, and controlled, and if you want the right to expect those things, if you want the right to expect compensation for your efforts – just the right to expect it – you must be publicly labeled as a different class of person “sex worker, prostitute” and you can only expect the compensation in a certain area, and only if you are given permission.
Red Light districts where women are “free to choose prostitution for an income”, there is no freedom in that. Yes you are free to expect that compensation – if you stand in a lit window in your underwear and let everyone walking by know that you expect it. You can only exercise that right to expect if you become an animal in a zoo. That is the opposite of it being a “right” and privilege doesn’t come into it, no matter where in the world, how poor or how rich.
That is not understanding, that is not un-oppressed, – that is a restriction of rights, The restriction that you can’t do it the way you want to do it, you must do it in public and let everyone see and let everyone know who, and what, you are.
Let them see what you dare to expect. You Whore.
And I know, “expect” – that word itself has been tainted, we give it the meaning of “take” – well not we, not me and maybe not you, but many people do, many feminists do.
If making the planet into what it should be is done person by person, area by area, law by law, if that is how we make the planet, it should be easy to do. Don’t force anyone to do what they don’t want to, Make sure all of us have decent, if not ideal, options open to us in order to survive, those are givens. They are fucking duh. Fucking duh. Even the most foolish among us sees the fucking duh in that.
All the other rhetoric – the “choice out of no choice” ; the “they are forced, trafficked” ; the “they have had the sense beaten out of them, they don’t know what they are doing”; the “it encourages men to disrespect women” ; the “it’s all rape, women can’t say stop once it starts” ; the “how dare you speak for those other women over there who aren’t like you”. It’s all a bunch of strawmen and red herrings and distractions and derailments.
A lot of the people on this planet suck. Sucky people, won’t you just go away? Ok fine, just shut up.
FUCK. I BURIED THE LEDE AGAIN
There is so much talk about the “right to respect”, I want to talk about the “right to expect”. Here, on Earth, Now. But I can’t. It takes so much un-twisting, there is no right to expect, it’s twisted into “Expect Respect” and I’m not happy at ALL with the definition of RESPECT. It’s not my definition, it’s all about my body, my vagina, my orifices… I am told to respect my“self” – but they only mean my body – my woman’s body – they will with-hold and refuse respect of my mind if I do not first respect my“self” in the way they have decided is proper. That shit, Right there, THAT SHIT IS OPPRESSION, IT IS EVERY WOMAN’S LARGEST OPPRESSION.
Women Oppressed? Tell them to “Expect Respect”. The right to Expect? No woman has that right. Not anywhere on earth. Who in their right mind would even ask such a thing?
I am. I’m asking. Why can’t women have that right, that right to expect the guy she is sleeping with to kick in for the bills unless she commits to an emotional involvement? Don’t give me strawmen, don’t beg the question. There is no justifiable reason for it. None. Not the Bible, Not Rape Culture. There is no justification for women being denied the right, what should be an inalienable right of a WOMAN to EXPECT, and let her define RESPECT for herself.